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It's funny. I was SO GOOD about scheduling posts ahead of time for Sun, Mon, Tues and Wed and when it came to Thursday's #MidWeekMani, I wanted to be more "honest" as usually this post is about how my week is going so I did not schedule it. Here I am writing in the raw and as I expected, I am TIRED. I usually write my blog posts on my days off when I am better able to mentally function, but tonight I am writing after what always feels like a long day at work.
I remember when I was first brought back as part of a skeleton team at work in May 2020 and after not having a proper paycheck for 2 months and having to really control myself when it came to spending (my credit card statement was $109 and that was my cell phone bill), I was relieved to have a job again. Now, I'm just caught in that rut that I think a lot of us get caught in where I don't really know if I am enjoying my job anymore and thinking about a change. I also try to remind myself that I probably would be enjoying it more if I didn't have to deal with certain things, but I also can't imagine starting somewhere new and having the stress of the unknown. At least now, I know what I have to deal with. I just don't have to like it. I do love helping my clients though and the relationships I've formed for the last 17 years have been pretty incredible. With some clients, I have seen them through engagements, marriages, divorces and kids. It's pretty incredible to be included in those life moments.
I suspect that what I am having a hard time with is accepting all that comes with a management title and being a fairly young and good-looking woman. I've put up with a lot of insinuations and lies (mainly from other women) and have had older men in the company say extremely misogynistic things to me (assuming that I have had a relationship with my male superior) just because I am who I am. It's all just really annoying and this week, I seem to be feeling all of that, but I don't want to so here I am, writing and not telling you that this polish is from the OPI Me Myself and I Spring collection and is one of THE nicest cherry reds I have used ;-)
I will try to snap out of whatever this I am in, but I have been feeling this for a couple of months now. Specifically since the summer and though I can't fully discuss everything here, I'm just feeling like I am stretched a bit too thin and will need to take active steps to have a better work life balance with the first thing I am doing - not checking emails when I am off!
I hope you are all enjoying your weeks and here's to the next day off!
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